I fear

I fear

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, fear of the unknown ,so when I quote this its been more than 11 years since 9/11 happened . When it happened I was hardly one year old, oblivious of the bitter and harsh realities of life .I opened my eyes in this world ,hoping things would be better for me ,maybe there is a secure world out there for me but how wrong I was, I didn't know I had to live 11 years of my life in constant fear, fear of bomb blasts, fear of sectarian riots. I ask myself why me, why do I have to suffer, what did I do to live in constant fear .

I witnessed everything which is happening in my country , I witnessed my school turned into a fort in front of my eyes .How I shivered when the first time there was an emergency drill of bomb blast in my school, how I prayed secretly that I should not have come to school. How relieved I was when my mom came running to pick me up that dreadful day and when she hugged me, I asked her what is happening? She consoled me and told me not to worry .

Few days later there was another drill and that time I was really scared because my mom did not come to pick me up. I was told by my teachers that its safe now and it was a hoax call of bomb in our school. How confused and angry I felt when I was not allowed to go to amusement park. Me and my brother kept asking our mom, why cant we go to amusement park, she kept telling us that its too dangerous and we should not take a risk.

I am now only 12 years old but I very well know the meaning of terrorism .Terrorism is that thing that keeps people in constant fear. I still remember when there was a bomb blast in Lahore market ,near our house ,my uncle called me from abroad to ask if everything is fine here. Whenever there is a blast my whole family gets glued to the TV, there are images of amputated bodies, blood, I feel scared, I feel there is no place safe for me, I feel distraught .How desperately I want my parents to stop watching these gory scenes, how I wish they switch to the cartoon channel instead.

I daily hope and pray that one day my country will be a safe place but my hope turn into fear and fear turn into sorrow because of another tragedy . Then I again ask myself why I have to witness this insanity? Why???